Wednesday, January 21, 2009


A college classmate committed suicide. His partner died intestate on a cruise. The parents apparently took control and left my friend out. He never got over it. I wonder if the parents are "good Christian folks".

Sometimes I dislike religion intensely. I find it difficult to respect people who blindly follow the pronouncements of the pope or the Mormon prophet or anybody claiming to have a direct line to whatever god and know all the rules for salvation, whatever that is. Most but not all of God's creation are less interested in one sex than in another. If it isn't rape or abuse, it is normal. If it doesn't produce offspring who will add to the rolls and the coffers, it is not wrong or harmful to God's plan. It is normal.

Sheez. I wish people would learn to value each other, especially people who claim to follow Jesus. They wouldn't have to worry about salvation or much of anything else. The world would be much more peaceful.


Kirkepiscatoid said...

Oh, sigh.

I knew you were upset by your facebook page, but now I know exactly why. I am so sorry about this.

There is always a part of me when someone commits suicide and I know them, or consider them a friend, that yells, "Why the hell didn't you call me?"

I am so sorry about all of this and meanwhile, don't be afraid to feel hurt, angry, upset, or sad.

sharecropper said...

One episode of This Old House showed succeeding generations of lesbians living in the one house. In the first episode, one partner dies of a heart attack and her nephew and wife move the other partner out of the house because her name is not on the deed even though she had paid her half. They even tried to take her beloved miniature collection. I cried so hard that I couldn't watch the rest of it then.

Thanks be to our legal system that we do have ways of protecting at least some of our possessions and rights, and thanks be to God that most people are more understanding.

Suicide is a different matter. My nephew shot himself and I will always regret not having communicated with him better.

Joan said...

I am so sorry. Prayers ascending.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I'm so sorry. Such destructiveness in the name of religion.

forsythia said...

I am sorry about your classmate, sorry he was devastated by the ignorance of his partner's family.

Funky Grampa said...

This choir stall shouts, AMEN!

I am and have been skittish about associating with church people, lay and clergy, for the very reasons you lament.

And my resume shows fifty years as a working Lutheran Pastor.

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

Amen, my friend. Amen. And, I'm sorry for your loss.

Lee M. Davenport said...

I'm so sorry, Shel. This is heartbreaking.

It's beyond sinful to make another person feel subhuman, to debase and devalue that person's love for another simply because that love doesn't fit your narrow view of the way things should be.

The people who commit these sins will be made to account for them, rest assured. My parents will be among them.

I'd love to have someone in my life, but God forbid that I should die before him and before my parents. They'd see to it that he'd be excluded, devalued, debased, made to feel subhuman. I have no doubt.

Like you, I yearn for the day when people no longer use religion to tear down one another and to separate "us" from "them." I know I won't live to see it.

Suzer said...

I count myself lucky that, although our respective families might not be 100% thrilled to have lesbian daughters, both families are loving and accepting of us.

I'm so sorry for your loss. And while heterosexual couples can also suffer the hatred or dislike from their in-laws, same-sex couples do not have the law to back them up. Hopefully, change is coming soon.